Ding dong!

The witch is dead! She quit!! She couldn't handle the pressure and media spotlight anymore!!!

Of course, this makes her free to travel the country supporting a "conservative agenda," but if there's one thing Americans will not vote for is a quitter!
Hip hip hooray!!


Are you all packed and ready to return?

Palin Writes Creepy E-mails

When Trig was born, Palin wrote an e-mail letter to friends and relatives, describing the belated news of her pregnancy and detailing Trig’s condition; she wrote the e-mail not in her own name but in God’s, and signed it 'Trig’s Creator, Your Heavenly Father.

It Came From Wasilla

Are you one of those "special" people who has to wear a helmet all the time to protect themselves? Because that is the sort of face you are making.

Get Your Motor Running

Feck bicycles. Today I went Quad Biking up in the mountains.

False Alarm

Sorry it's been a while. I was really scared because I dreamed about having sex with a boy and then I missed my period. Freaked me the hell out.

November 20!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwnidftwZ_M



Also here are some birthday photos: http://www.stuartmx.com/bday/bday.html
The redhead is A.

New York, New York

You are hysterical. I'm sure there is more than one woman for you - clone of you! We will have to get to work on that when you get back.

I agree, though. The older I get the more dealbreakers I have. And to be honest somehow super passionate about music isn't as high on the list anymore because all the girls who are passionate about it just get their "knowledge" off Pitchfork and I have no desire to deal with having to know a new great band every 3 days.

The new Twilight comes out in Ocyober or November. I want to say November, but I could be wrong. Either way we shall be there!

I super duper hope this Visa of yours gets approved. I miss you and need you back here! We went to Mars 2112 for my birthday, and it just wasn't the same without you. It's a restaurant near Times Square themed like Mars! Complete with people dressed as aliens and a virtual shuttle ride to get to the restaurant area! It was glorious. Wait until you see the phoos, it was out of this world!
I can't web tell you how often I've been making that pun.

Everything is alright here, except for the A front. Still the same as always... She's going back to Illinois for the summer so that will probably help put things in perspective. It's terrible, really. And all my friends really like her, they just don't approve of the situation. You'd probably like her as well, were it not for the crushing of your little brother's feelings.

Have I mentioned I am taking trapeze classes? They're glorious! I'm learning so much AND my body is becoming more flexible and dexterous! Which I can assure you has come in handy on certain occasions!
I'm also learning poi, so I can dance with fire at some point!
Speaking of, do you definitely want to go to Burning Man? If so I will start looking into transportation out there...

And where are you staying when you get back here? Do you have anything lines up or what? You know you are more than welcome to crash at my place if you need to!

Picky

Seriously, my list of dealbreakers is ever growing. It seems I'm finally becoming old and crabby just like I dreamed of as a child... Hirsute women; women with unattractive hands; women who make use of slang and/or expletives (unless they're being ironic); anyone who defines themselves by the clothes they wear or the people they know or the false gods they love; anyone with a casual interest in music rather than an unnatural craving for it... Freakishly brainy. Not at all smart. Lazy or unambitious. Disinterested in horses. Anyone who won't let me name my first born son, Ernest. My second born son, Atticus. My third born son, Francis. And all my daughters, equally, Zooey. I can go on...smokers, alcoholics, religious zealots, non-voters, non-tippers, the uncultured, the unadventurous, the unchallenged, the xenophobic, the neo-Nazis, the neo-Eighties, the bad spellers, the double-standarderers, those with atrocious penmanship, the left-handed, the tax evaders, the ones who configure their toilet rolls to go under as opposed to over, the team anistons, the team jolies, the ones who can't distinguish between "their", "they're", and "there"... I could go on. It seems there is really only one woman for me. Me.

Don't Let Facebook Steal Your Soul

You, me and Dakota Fanning makes three. I'm down for a light-headed cinema experience. When is the movie coming out, because if my visa application is approved, it looks like I'm all set to return on July 6, 2009. Mark it in your diary old friend. Like Julian Casablacas says, It's Summer in the Citay.

Reality!

And I'm not Bonnie Tyler, and I'm not Toni Braxton
And this song is not gonna save your relationship, oh no... shit!
And this sentimental movie marathon has taught us one thing
It's the opposite of true love is as follows: Reality!

We're undeveloped, we're ignorant, we're stupid, but we're happy

I have to say, I really enjoyed your Paula Abdul post so don't take my lack of posting as a slight in any way. School is coming to an end soon, so you can imagine the sleepless nights I'm suffering at the moment... But, amidst the Sturm und Drang, it's been super nice to get your old-fashioned telegram (not to mention the warning notes about the abnormally large spiders awaiting me in my sock drawer). THANK YOU.

So I was thinking about your situation, you know, spending more time with A now than when you were together. In my prudish opinion, contemporary New York relationships are lacking in romance. All this getting-to-know-about-your-penchant-for-circus-skills stuff should really happened before the sex. Can you imagine the smoldering sexual tension that would have occurred if you hadn't have had sex yet? It seems to me that you guys would make a really raunchy couple but the scenes are all out of whack. Look, I'm a strong proponent of non-linearity, but the pain you're enduring (inflicting on yourself) at the moment boggles the mind. But I'll stop there because I've done dumber things. All I can offer you is a token for a big bear hug when I return. (This will include a bonus slap in the face, buster.)

Stay indoors and don't go near the spiders!!

These things are terrifying

straight up now tell me are you gonna love me forever

While I would love to tell you I am no longer spending time with A, that is not the case. In fact, I think we are now spending even MORE time together.
I know. I'm an idiot. You don't understand. We've become incredibly close friends and we have so many of the same interests we just wind up spending time together.

There was a bit of a blow-up a few weeks ago and we didn't talk for a week. It was AWFUL. And apparently we both hated it, but I'm the only one willing to acknowledge that it definitely means we should be more than friends. And a week after the blow-up we had a huge talk about everything, and I flat out told her how crazy I am about her. And then she didn't talk for a while.
I just don't know what to do. It's terrible. I've tried going out with other girls, and none even come close to this one. She's incredibly funny, a blast to be around, we love going to the same sorts of events, and just click in every possible way. Oh and she's completely drop-dead gorgeous. The first time I saw her I pretty much stopped in my tracks.
But for some reason she doesn't want to date me. She told me why, and I'm not sure I accept it as a reasonable excuse, but I will email it to you so you will know.

ANYWAY. Aside from that. Did you ENTER the sheep shearing contest, or just watch? Because I really think you could become quite good at that if you trained for it. I'm not sure what sort of training is involved, but if you want I'll be your coach. I'll be the Mick to your Rocky. We just need to find you an Adrienne.

Do you know where you will stay for the summer? Do you want me to keep an ear out in case I hear of anything?

I am so desperately excited for you to come back. No one can entertain me the way you can entertain me. And that's a fact. And I do want you to meet A, just so you can see what all the fuss is about. I know I'm being a complete idiot by not cutting all ties, but we've become too close of friends for me to do that. And it sucks. Either way it sucks.

ANYWAY. Let's move on to happier things. I'm becoming quite good at hula hooping, so when you get back I will have to teach you. We can go to the park and use it to lure girls over to us. "Oh my god I'm so sorry my wayward hula hoop 'accidentally' hit you!"
Yea. I have no problem being that guy. And I don't think you'd have a problem being that girl.

Have you seen Adventureland yet? I went Sunday night, it was pretty entertaining. I really loved the soundtrack the most, though. Who knew the girl from Twilight could play such a whore?!
Speaking of Twilight, Dakota Fanning is in the next movie. You & me & a bottle of wine or three for that, yes?

Did I tell you I am taking an aerial acrobatics class? It's glorious! I'm in the beginner class, but other advanced classes are going on in the room at the same time. Do you know how distracting it is to be in a room full of 25 people, only 2 of which are guys, and all the girls are INCREDIBLY flexible and bending their bodies in ways I did not know were possible both in midair and on the ground?
Because it is.

Please don't ever mention anything about shaving hair again. I think there are some things that we should keep private, and I'm pretty sure that is one of them...

Not much else is going on here. I went to a party Friday night with a girl, but I don't really feel anything between us so I think I'm going to end it. Maya I don't even want to have random casual sex anymore. That's how bad things are for me.

I can't wait for you to come back. We need to think of good adventures for as soon as you get off the plane. Do we want to commandeer another bus??

You're missed!!

It Gets Dark at 5

the decreasing amount of daylight is making me miserable here, but ever enthusiastic about getting back to The City. my contract ends next month and I have to sort out my work visa, but yes, i can safely say that i will be heading back over there for summer. i'm really excited about going to Burning Man, because i'm in desperate need for a drink and a dance with the other freaks.

of course, it all depends on my situation in august, but lordy, this lesbian wants to shave her hair off (not from her head) and DANCE.

how are things with you? please tell me you've found someone to replace The Girl. has kevin barnes and crew passed through?

Google Analytics

who needs sitemeter when i have google analytics running on this thing... i added you as a user so you should be able to access the stats for this humble little blog of ours...

Best. Day. Ever.

...at least in Sydney...

i went to the Sydney Easter Show on the weekend and had the greatest time. i literally spent 12 hours patting baby farm animals, eating carnival food, watching horse polo, getting temporary tattoos, watching sideshow freaks, perving on public lesbians, cheering the dog shows and riding crazy rides. sure, i threw up in my mouth a little on some of the rides, but it was worth it.

P.S. i witnessed a sheep shearing contest!
P.P.S. i ranted all day about fat people. wish you were there.

all we need is just a little patience

Oh yes, I hate bludgers as well. Although I suppose I sort of was one when I was on unemployment. It was enjoyable for a few months, but I didn't try to live off it forever...

Can't say I blame her for being in love with you - who wouldn't be!?

I'm doing a media server as well! It's nothing crazy, but it is so well done Best Buy doesn't even carry some things I need for it (wireless audio transmitters/receiver to send all audio sgnals to my tuner). I love it.

Napa was alright. Truth be told my family and I argued a lot. My brother was a giant prick of a control freak the entire time, and it just made me miserable and made me have no desire to be there.

We did go to this really cool place in San Fran called Musee Mecanique that had all these really old penny arcade games - it was a lot of fun. They were all mechanical and still working after who knows how many years.

Not to argue with you, but I'm pretty sure everything goes great with stilts. Okay except for maybe being sad, that probably isn't so good. I'm getting better...sort of.

Why would you not see Vivian again? You are so bad at being a lesbian! You meet these girls you have a ton of fun with and then never call them! And you don't even hook up, you just don't call! Did you get her number? You should ask her if she wants to go out for dinner. Perhaps seafood? Maybe tuna tacos for dessert!
God you must miss my jokes.

I've heard you mention Karla, but have never met her. Isn't she slightly above average in size? I remember a pic you showed me once and I think she was in it...
How is she in love with you when you are across the sea? Please tell me you aren't having super emotional email exchanges with this girl...cyber love is never healthy! Even in the age of Skype and ichat and all that.
Phone sex is still okay though. Do you think people back in the day had Morse code sex? Beep beep beeep beeeeep beeeeeeeep BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!
(That was morse code for I'm coming!)

Do you mean it!? Are you really coming back? Because it won't be summer withou you and a big red bus!
Come back soon!!!

I'm doing a bunch of videos on how to move for this moving advice website. They asked me and didn't argue with price, so I figured why not.

Yup, trying to distract myself. Not working so well. Being pretty productive though! And if this results in me learning all sorts of fantastic skills, then I suppose it isn't so bad?

Can you please put a sitemeter.com counter on here? I want to know who is reading it!
And send me the l/p if you do it so I can track it too!

I will not be making out with any dwarfs! I want hot acrobats I can have trapeze sex with, not someone who can stand up straight and, well, you know...

I really hope you come back soon. My friends are rapidly becoming incredibly lame people who do nothing except be home by 10 for yet another Netflix night.
And who needs that!
Seriously, what is it about people that makes them incredibly boring once they are in a relationship? I would love to know. Fun people are turned into absolute drones as soon as they start getting serious.

I'm listening to Guns n Roses and wrote this entire thing on my ride to work. You realize GnR was the. First time you and I hung out? Such a wonderful time that was!

And you're right. That clown was scary. How about that girl clown, though? She was cute! My boss was like "I wonder which was your favorite" when he saw how much she was in the piece...

The biggest deal-breaker of all

You know how you hate fat people? Well, I hate bludgers.

Cheap-skate is bad. Bludger is badder.

BLUDGER: noun, (1) a person who lives off the efforts of others; a person who does not pay his fair share or who does not make a fair contribution to a cost, enterprise, etc., a cadger; an idler, one who makes little effort; (2) one who exploits the system of unemployment benefits by avoiding gainful employment and making do on the dole.

This is an Australian colloquial term that I would apply to people who are quite happy to leach off society.

This makes me unfriendly.

Young and hirsute

Wine in Napa is good. My family's brand-spanking new 55" LCD is better. No. I lie. Wine in Napa is better. But I just connected my cable router to our television and now my iMac is a neat little media server for it. uTorrent to the rescue.

About the Rilo Kiley reference... Yes, it's like any drug, it staves off the suffering in spurts. But, slap, get a grip buster! You're just going to get hooked on being a sucker, and listen to me mate, that's not a good look on you. It just doesn't go with your stilts.

Okay, so the little blonde-haired girl must have moved because I haven't seen her in 3 weeks or so. I did, however, meet a raven-haired beauty at a wedding last weekend. She apparently was in my grade but I swear I never laid eyes on her before. Until now.

She says she lost 12 pounds so maybe she wasn't svelte in school and so not visibile on my radar, but now? I'm a subscriber to the school of Vivian. We drank champagne and danced all night. She was a good time, but I don't imagine I'll see her again.

So, I've probably mentioned a friend of mine called Karla? Well, she's making me feel really uncomfortable at the moment. Like. Really. I don't know if she's playing or what, but she tells me that she thinks she's in love with me. Ew. I mean, she's a loyal friend and all, but what the fcuk? Lesbians suck.

You know how some people think that it's impossible for girls and guys to be friends, well, when it comes to lesbians, is it impossible for two gay girls to be friends?

In any event, I'm hoping to come back to NYC in June, so put on your good stilt paints and let's make a date to go gallavanting and sangria swilling in the summer sun!

I Love You, Man

I think my absence pretty much speaks for itself. School. Work. Weddings. The usual.

So what's this freelance work you were doing outside of CNN? And why? You're not broke are you? Because I only keep friends with people who have power, looks and a healthy credit limit (and/or nunchuk skills, computer-hacking skills, bow-hunting skills...) But in the current economic downturn, I'll settle for fire-breathing and snake charming.

Let me guess, you're trying to distract yourself from thinking about a girl? I hear you. Boxes and duct tape soothes me too. But what doesn't help is CONTACT. Ouch. Why don't you just sharpen two pencils, shove them up each nostril and bang your head down on a desk?

I'm glad you're going to circus school. For one thing, you'll most likely come back to me with some story about how you got drunk and made it with a hot little circus girl, but who turned out to be just another funny-looking primordial dwarf.

dance me to the end of love

I'm in Napa, California with my family. My brother is being a complete control freak as usual, and I'm pretty much tired of him already. We've been here about 36 hours. Not sure how the next few days will go.

I'm still hanging out with A. I know that's a stupid idea, but I am stupid so what can I say. At this point it has become like that Rilo Kiley song.
And I know I'm alone if I'm with or without you
But just being around you offers me another form of relief.

Yea. It's like that. I feel like I'm in college again with the way I'm handling this. And by that I mean not well.

I signed up for aerial acrobatics classes. They start in two weeks. I'm going to twist and twirl in the air. Isn't that wonderful? Plus it will be a way to meet fun people who hopefully are attractive. At least I don't think they'll be very large, because I can't see large people being able to do that.

Please come home soon. You are dearly missed. There's a Bob Ross party in NY tonight, and I can't go because I'm out in California. We're going to see three wineries today.

How are classes/work going?

When you come back, can you bring me a koala? I want a pet.

I think I'm just going to run away with the circus in a couple years. That way I can just keep escaping my problems and not deal with them. And wear fabulous outfits while dazzling an audience.

I need to show you my video of me on my stilts hula hooping. It's pretty ridiculous.

I really hope you can come back for Burning Man. Just spending the week stoned in the desert sounds glorious. I will make brownies so you don't have to smoke...

I always thought you look like an Ethiopian princess.

That sounds like a terrific plan.

Do you think everything in Southeast Asia only takes 10 to 15 minute? Because I think that's a great way to live. I bet they all compete with each other and in the future it will be 5 to 10 minute. Because the Asians are innovative like that.

"This is my mute brother" is a pretty wonderful game. That guy really thought I was deaf, dumb, and blind. Sucker.

Our bus needs an upper deck for you to give tours on. Or giant speakers for you to give a tour from inside the bus. Anything where you can have a microphone/megaphone and speak. Or preach. I'd sure like to attend a church sermon given by you.

I just saw "I Love You Man." It made me miss you. Not because I love you (which I do!), but because YOU are the one who should go see all post-Freaks and Geeks movies with me! Who else will help me spot other alumni in the movies?
No one, that's who!

I took Friday and Monday off from work to freelance for some other company making a bunch of videos. We shot all weekend and now I have to edit 23 videos about packing and moving.
It's riveting, I tell ya.

How is the girl on the bus? Have you spoken to her yet?

I saw a very hot circus girl give an incredible performance on a rope and in a crazy sexy outfit to Nine Inch Nail's "Closer." I don't think there was a dry pant in the house. Male or female. It was beyond hot, whatever that is.

So I'm thinking of taking sideshow classes at Coney Island come April and May. Sword swallowing, fire breathing, snake charming - what do you think? Good or terrible idea?
I feel like it will really beef up my resume. Like so:
Skills: Final Cut Pro, After Effects, Photoshop, stilt walking, firebreathing, snake charming.

You'd hire me, right?

Here's a Top 5 of mine right now:
This video
A & I kissing goodnight on St. Patrick's Day (nothing happened. or has happened since. Sigh).
Of Montreal coming
King of Kong (watch this movie. You'll love the people in it.)
The hope of you and I going to Burning Man.

If I inherited a million dollars from a long lost anything...

...you and i would both take a year off and drive our bus to hell and back. we would travel across europe and give all the germans stern, disapproving looks, leap-frog india because i have a weak constitution, island-hop across south east asia telling everyone "we show you good time", do a loop-di-loop around my homeland (in a very solemn and respectful manner), camouflage our bus and hide in a cargo container to madagascar then hope to god the rhinos and hippos and negr Nigerians don't become too alarmed by our striking technicolour dreambus, skip south america because we get all them in north america anyway, and finally, play "this is my mute brother" up until the point where we reach the only place worth living in.

The future is certain. Give us time to work it out.

What do you think of our sweet ride?

I'm hoping this exact one is for sale - we can take out the seats to make room for mattresses, but we need a divider between them because obviously we are soldiers in Jesus' Army with our own Battle Van, and Jesus would not like the two of us sleeping so close together.

I love how there's a phone number on the front passenger door.

You need to come back soon. The (main) reason I'm still hanging out so soon is because she's pretty much the only person who will go to these things with me. But I need to stop because it's starting to really suck and emotionally drain me.
I want to go back to not caring and just dating girls for a couple weeks and being done with them. That was much better than this.
But those girls are not always wanting to attend the ridiculous events I want to go to. Like last night we went to a fashion show that incorporated a lot of circus-ish things like hula hoops and hoop trapezes.
You would have quite enjoyed it. It was quite wonderful for a variety of reasons...

You need to return ASAP and smack some sense into me. And get me out of my wallowing state, because you're one of the few who could pull it off. Others wanted to take me out for drinks and dinner and things like that, but you and I both know when we need to unwallow, we do it in style. And it hopefully involves some sort of trip and/or trouble.
Plus I never see my friends anymore. I'm done fighting to even get them to come out for something fun that is not "dinner and drinks." I'm tired of having so many coupled friends. It's really getting out of hand and I just don't want to deal with it anymore.

I'm glad your cute bus girl does not have a ring. You should ask her if she wants to ride your bus. And by your bus, I mean our Jesus Battle Bus. I would appreciate it if this time you wait until I pass out/fall asleep before having sex, though.
Just throwing that out there.

We don't always need super long posts! We can do stupid fun posts. I'll try to do that. It's hard to post at work because they have pretty strict policies about writing/contributing to outside things and if they see me updating a blog, they may check things out, ya know?
Do you know of any Blogger Apps for the iPhone? If there are, I will get it so I can write on the train and whatnot. I don't know of any though...

The footage of Mike and Doug was absolutely wonderful. It really shows how far up Doug's ass Mike really is. I never realized it until that video pointed it out. It was quite disgusting.

You, myself, and any other funsters (yes, I just used that word. It's for people who like fun) who want to join us? A two week road trip to the desert and back.
It has to be a Volkswagen van or a minibus. Those are the only acceptable forms of travel.
If they don't have air conditioning we'll look into other options...

I'm sorry to hear Of Montreal wasn't good. Maybe they were jet lagged/tired of being on a plane for 26 hours? Or maybe they were trying to rush off stage to go kangaroo riding?

What is interactive television? Is that shows with audience interaction - Price is Right? That's pretty interactive...or maybe something more along the lines of Maury Povich?

Come May I'll have been out of school five years. I feel like I've done nothing. And completely wasted 20% of my life. Looking back on the last 5 years I can't think of anything truly of note that I'm happy about or proud of.
And that's really sad. I know there are things other people are proud of my for, but individually I'm not very impressed with myself right now.

If you email me your address I will send you some ridiculous things. So long as postage is not insanely expensive...


I think what it boils down to is I'm depressed about where my life has gone and the current state of it and I want desperately to do fun things and get out more to events I actually want to go to (not stupid dinner and drinks), but no one is around to do the fun things with me. Except for the one person I get along completely and have a great time with, but wants nothing to do with me on any level other than friendship.

Maya's top five

1. strange overtones by david byrne & brian eno
2. this presentation by david heinemeier hansson
3. flight of the conchords
4. the sartorialist
5. andy warhol

The electric kool-aid acid test

okay, so, this work & school gig is insane. undertaking three classes in addition to four days a week of work was obviously very ambitious on my part.

i was in class last friday, sitting there, starting to stress about assignments and such, when i thought, "no one is actually making me do this", so i've decided to drop a class or two. one of them focused on interactive television, which i have no love for, so yeah, that's my long-winded explanation for why i've not posted in a while...

of Montreal was kinda fun. they played at sydney university and pulled a lot of hipsters (i honestly didn't think sydney had any!) i was in the front row and dancing with some bloke sporting a pair of silver skin tight lycra leggings. even so, i have to admit that it wasn't that great. maybe they were jet-lagged or something, but Kevin Barnes was relatively subdued. they clearly perform their best when they're in new york.

as for my non-existent love life, some promising news. the little blonde-haired girl on my bus hasn't a wedding ring. she still has the constant male companion though, and he did recently bleach his hair snow white like hers (lame!), but still, no wedding ring. i hope they're siblings, but that's just me in denial.

hey, wasn't that footage of doug and mike just too good to be true? though, i have to say that i was both really surprised and a bit disappointed that jabba didn't go nuts with the vicious insults and usual expletives. and while doug was just being doug, for me, the clip highlighted how much of a gutless side-kick mike really is. who would've thought that during the Edna era, he was harbouring secret feelings for doug and craving the closeness she shared with him? i know i kissed the german back in the seventies, but ewww, i'm still washing out my mouth with soapy water.

now to you... please explain to me why you are still kicking it with the girl and trying to go the friendship route SO SOON? i mean, don't you need to distance yourself from her for a wee bit? why make it harder on yourself? and about finding girls that "keep you on your toes intellectually", that isn't so much the hard part as finding the CUTE ones who like quirky adventures and having fun like you. those are the hard ones to come by.

i'm going to try and do burning man with you in a psychedelic bus (like ken kesey and his merry pranksters). my plans are still up in the air, but i think we both NEED this.

I MISS YOU STU.

Let's pretend we're in Antarctica.

Sorry it's taken me so long to post, I've been trying to keep busy. I made a shirt to match my stilt pants on Tuesday!
I am going to be the tallest, most orange-est and blackest thing you have ever seen. I'm quite proud of it.

Can you bubble bubble toil and trouble with a friend's kitchen? Maybe someone is willing to let you borrow the kitchen if you share the wealth?

I am doing somewhat better. I just wish I could figure out what to do. It's weird because I've been blatantly honest about everything, and it sucks that i can't do anything to change it.
Oh well. That's life.

Last weekend I went out stilting with my friend Ari on Saturday, then that night hung out with the girl. Mainly because we are trying to be friends and it had been really weird last time we spoke and it was sort of diplomatically needed.
I also smoked a lot. I've been smoking a lot. I have no idea what I did Sunday but I'm pretty sure I took a 3-hour nap and some point and felt like a complete waste. What about you? And what are you doing this weekend?

I'm doing better I suppose. When did we ever go to The Sheep Station?

It had been a little under two months. But we get along in every single possible way, which is why I don't like how it went. Usually I can find something wrong, but we have so much in common and she's actually smart and I can sit there talking to her for hours and it just makes me want to jump her even more.
Which I think is pretty wonderful. It's not like it was with K where all we ever did was fuck, this is stimulating me every which way and it's pretty fantastic! That hasn't happened since college and to be honest I've forgotten what it felt like.
It is hard to find a girl who can keep me on my toes intellectually. Not to sound conceited, but you know what I mean.
I jumped ship from Serious Eats blogger to go with this one because I couldn't handle two at a time. So..yea. I suppose I got what was coming to me.

Yay for Burning Man! Maybe you can fly to NY first and we'll buy an old school bus and razzle dazzle it up for the drive. I think just throwing paint cans on it should do the trick.
You will make me such a happy boy if we do this!

Why wouldn't you keep going with your Master's? Are you not liking it at all? And what are you getting your Master's in, anyway?

Hahhaha Big Poop. You can ride my Large Vag anyday.

You should put a sitemeter.com counter on here so we can see if anyone else is reading it. Because when people google funny phrases we might come up...

You are sorely missed. I've been spending more time at home because there are so few people who will go out with me the way we go out...

I wish you could meet A. I think you would be quite fond of her. And if you weren't, you could knock some sense into me.

The world won't stop ending. Every day work gets more and more depressing, as I'm sure you're aware. Did you know it is practically 1997 again??
Technically that means I shouldn't even be talking to girls.

Why would a Swedish person ever go to an Ikea overseas? But kudos to you for wanting to perve on them.

Speaking of perving, have you torrented Dollhouse yet? The show isn't so great, but Eliza Dushku makes for some nice eye candy.

I was hula hooping in the park tonight when two girls stopped me on my way out. They said they saw me hooping and said they were in the meetup.com hoop club if I wanted to join I could go on the site and check it out.
I would have, but neither of them was very cute so I decided the meetup.com hoop club was not worth it.

Besides, I'd rather "accidentally" hit someone at the park...

You are sorely missed!

I'll play the Satyr in Cyprus, you the bride being stripped bare, bare

of Montreal's debut tour of Australia is tomorrow, where are you?

Thanks so much for the brownie recipe, but since I'm living at home at the moment, I'll have to wait for an opportune moment to bubble bubble toil and trouble in the family kitchen.

How are things? Are you doing any better? What did you get up to this weekend? I went to IKEA and perved on all the Swedish tourists who, don't ask me why, like to visit IKEA when they travel overseas. Then again, I am guilty for dragging you to a place called The Sheep Station once upon a time.

So, not to jest or anything, but how long were you with the girl? And how intense was it? I.e. did you see her daily, twice a week, etc. Are you stalking her at the moment... And which girl are we talking about? Serious Eats blogger?

About Burning Man, I SO WANT TO GO. August/September right? At this point, I'm not sure if I'm going to keep on going with my Master's here. I'll have a better idea come May/June.

By the way, I still have my horse's card from D&B's. Riding your Large Vag was always better than having than my Big Poop.

"And Wide Vag takes a commanding lead!"

I just found this. I thought you would appreciate it.

I can't believe that gum-chewing trick worked.

cooking with pot - brownies, pasta, etc.

What you need to do is put as much weed as you want in a saucepan with the cooking oil the brownie recipe calls for. It's usually like half a cup or a few tablespoons or something, not much at all.

THEN you need to let the two simmer together for 3-4 hours on a very low heat. If you do it too hot it will burn the THC off the buds and they will literally go up in smoke. Simmering allows the oil to absorb the THC. The first half hour your house/apartment will smell DELICIOUS.
Just be careful not to get it all smokey - a low heat is all you want. You can then either crunch up the burnt-out buds that are in the pan and leave them or strain it, being careful not to loose any of the oil. I've found a coffee filter works best for straining it. Personally I prefer to just crunch up the buds and leave them there, no one notices them when they are just crumbs. Pour the mixture in with the other brownie ingredients and you are set to go.

You can also do this with cookies, pasta, chicken - any sort of food. Just let the oil absorb the THC first and then pour the oil into whatever you are cooking.

Hope it helps!

Enter any sheep shearing contests lately?

I don't think I would have made that trade. Maybe that's why they took down your ad?
And why did you post it in Jersey, anyway? Does Jersey even have any bears that aren't of the large gay man variety?


I used to want relationships like that video. Now I don't even know. I tend to get very confused with it all. Before the most recent one, it had been six girls in six months. I'm actually not very proud of that.
I will say this most recent was one of the few who actually stimulated me intellectually, which I quite enjoyed. I think I'm going to keep pursuing that. And she was willing to play dress-up and go to ridiculous costume things and other weird parties/activities. And you know I love those...

See I NEED you to meet them and zero in on their faults to show me everything that is wrong! Especially if I actually like them.
I fell asleep at 10:30 last night on my living room floor, surrounded by empty Thai food cartons. That is where my life is now.

I was at the circus thing in Brooklyn. Check out The Lady Circus. I think you will find it to your liking.

YOU are my reason for visiting! I do want to come, but I want to save a little more money first and get my bills paid off.
Will you go to Burning Man with me this year?

I got the Lacie HipServ. If you just google that you'll see it. It was about $100 for a half terabyte drive. iTunes sees it as an itunes server, but you can also mount it as a network drive and store the entire library on it - so you can store all your music on it and still transfer it to your phone/ipod.

I forgot about my reenactment! I think I did that entire thing without taking a breath. I just kept going and going. God. We were completely out of it that night.
I still think you should read it. There's even a rough manuscript of the first book told from Edward's perspective, and for 17 pages he just talks about how good Bella smells.
Literary genius. I can't recommend it enough.

Oh and that spelling and grammar requirement won't help you over their. Your going two wind up with someone who rights sentences like this one. I'd drop that and keep the reasonable credit rating - you'll have a better pool to choose from.

And since when do you like horses???


There is an Icebox Derby in Central Park this weekend. I wish you were here to compete with me.

Thoughts before bedtime...

2-0.

In an effort to increase my almost non-existent "stats", it seems that I should really cull my extensive list of deal-breakers (nice hands, a reasonable credit-rating, an interest in horses, etc.) down to one: spelling & grammar.

You leave me broken, shattered, I lie

So do you WANT to be in a relationship, or do you just want to be committed sexually? Boy of mine, it seems to me that you fall for girls more easily than I do. But godammit, I wish I could meet these girls of yours. I'm not sure I would be the protective older sister type, but I would definitely zero in on their faults for fun. It makes this part slightly more bearable. (Although, singing Love Shack exceptionally loud in a small-to-mid sized car with the windows down at sunset with your best friend after having your heartbroken works too. So I'm told.)

MC Hammer pants? Oh no you did ent. Wait, where were you at that had many cute girls?

Are you kidding me? A visit to Australia is right for so many reasons... But most people I know (and by most people, I mean, YOU) only need one reason:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Raj4iEpB9M

And while I'm definitely going to try and jailbreak my phone, shop around for wireless storage (send me a link to the one you picked up, will ya?), and do some semi-exercising, I'm really going to have to pass on Twilight. You acted out the ENTIRE series for me from UnionSq to Natalie's, remember?! Besides, I read so few books that I really have to focus on the greats (hands up Vonnegut fans?)

Oh one last thing, I really want to bake brownies, and unless the ones you made me are from a secret family recipe, cough it up buster, they were incredible. Which reminds me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lk6LZ7x1ljM

It was at that moment, I realised...

Koala adoption?

Okay, so I posted this ad on craigslist and it lasted all of 10 minutes before the authorities swooped in for the kill and flagged it for removal. The bastards.

By the way, the photo in the ad depicts what koala bears do to cool down.

Too right, mate.

We still need that moped sidecar

Things clearly did not work out with the new girl. She has too much going on to want a relationship, and I actually like her and want to be in a relationship.
Did you know before her I had slept with 6 girls in 6 months? I stopped that for her!

I don't even feel like doing that to make myself feel better. I just want to wallow. Last night I drank quite a bit of Jack and got silly by myself. But tonight I made stilt pants and they are amazing! They're like MC Hammer pants and I love them. And many cute girls were there so that was nice.

I want to get out of town this weekend but there are so few people I'd want to go anywhere with - there aren't many people who will sing "I Swear" by All 4 One with me as we drive over the Tappan Zee.

What are the other kids in class like? Would we still be the tormented ones, or have we finally reached the point where we would be tormenting everyone else?
I think a lot of them wouldn't even know we were tormenting them - think our giggles and hysteria would give it away?


I think the bad often involve VJJ because we both like it! It is one of our strongest bonds, if you will...

I fully expect you to toss any child aside at that Of Montreal show. Throw them to the wolves! And I hope Kevin Barnes rides a horse on stage again. Or a pony. You have to let me know how it is, of course.
They're doing three shows next month or the month after and I'm too sad to buy tickets.

Yes I know I was invited, but I need to be able to afford the trip and now just is not a good time for so many reasons...

You should read the Twilight books. They are incredibly ridiculous and awful. But you might like them! You could easily read them all in a week or two, they take no time at all to complete. Just read the first one and you'll be hooked. Hooked I say!

I am going to find that "Take Me Out" cover and that dance scene. Here's a current five for me:

1. My jailbroken iPhone. I just did this last week and you should too. It is so much more powerful now, I can't believe I didn't do it before.
2. This wireless hard drive that also acts as a media server. I can now stream my video/music to anywhere in my apartment AND with my phone without any cables. And it's an ftp server.
I'm really pushing the limits of this 21st century technology
3. Leonard Cohen. I went to see him last Thursday, and it was just incredible. Did you know he has not played the states in 15 years?
There were a lot of old people there. And the guy from Law and Order who wears those sunglasses.
4. "The Shock Doctrine." It's this book about completely shocking different country economies to reform them into pure capitalist states run by, of course, American companies. It's quite good and I highly recommend it.
5. Semi-exercising. I feel like I'm getting too idle in my life, so I'm trying to be more active.

I didn't watch the Oscars! I was at Daniel's, and we had boys' night and watched the first two Underworld movies!
Those, I don't really recommend. Except for Kate Beckinsdale in her skin tight outfit.
Okay maybe you should see it.

I saw the giant koala sign in the sky

What's new, little brother?

I've just finished my first class at school and there are no cute girls, which means I'm either going to get great grades or I'm not going to show up at all. Ugh, it's so banal and rudimentary - I should be teaching the class... I wish you were there because we'd have SO much fun. Can you imagine the mischief we would get up to? I mean, the things we do in public alone... I want to torment the other kids in class with nobody but you.

By the way, while I was in class, I saw a double-decker tour bus out the window and immediately thought about how most of the times we've hung out have been punctuated with some lifelong memory - good and bad, but mostly good (the bad often involving VJJ).

Sorry for being so absent. I find it depressing to be on Facebook and gTalk and so on and so forth, but NOT BE THERE. So I throw myself into work and swimming and insulting people in general. One thing I am looking forward to is seeing of Montreal next week. Of course I have to play hooky but how could I give up the chance to disconnect the dots? Again, this is an outing that is blasphemous without you, but I have to blame it on the whole oceans apart thing. In my defence though, you WERE invited.

Okay, so to add to your brilliant idea of an allstar-blog, I would really like a regular Top 5 list of all the things that MXS is currently into. Especially since he was the one that introduced me to Los Campesinos and of Montreal and Twilight (as if) and and and...

Here are mine for this issue:

1. The little blonde girl on my bus (who may be homo, if her rainbow-coloured umbrella is anything to go by; but who is probably hetero, if her husband is anything to go by...)
2. Take Me Out covered by Guillemots
3. The dance scene from "A Relationship in Four Days"
4. Watching an outdoor jazz concert in the pouring rain at the zoo!
5. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (again, because I can and should)

One last thing for me to mention in this inaugural post is the fact that we are, above all, together forever because of our mutual appreciation of Freaks and Geeks (before it was even cool). Speaking of which, the only thing about the Oscars that I saw and didn't cringe at was that Pineapple Express scene. TOO FUNNY.