I Love You, Man

I think my absence pretty much speaks for itself. School. Work. Weddings. The usual.

So what's this freelance work you were doing outside of CNN? And why? You're not broke are you? Because I only keep friends with people who have power, looks and a healthy credit limit (and/or nunchuk skills, computer-hacking skills, bow-hunting skills...) But in the current economic downturn, I'll settle for fire-breathing and snake charming.

Let me guess, you're trying to distract yourself from thinking about a girl? I hear you. Boxes and duct tape soothes me too. But what doesn't help is CONTACT. Ouch. Why don't you just sharpen two pencils, shove them up each nostril and bang your head down on a desk?

I'm glad you're going to circus school. For one thing, you'll most likely come back to me with some story about how you got drunk and made it with a hot little circus girl, but who turned out to be just another funny-looking primordial dwarf.