I always thought you look like an Ethiopian princess.

That sounds like a terrific plan.

Do you think everything in Southeast Asia only takes 10 to 15 minute? Because I think that's a great way to live. I bet they all compete with each other and in the future it will be 5 to 10 minute. Because the Asians are innovative like that.

"This is my mute brother" is a pretty wonderful game. That guy really thought I was deaf, dumb, and blind. Sucker.

Our bus needs an upper deck for you to give tours on. Or giant speakers for you to give a tour from inside the bus. Anything where you can have a microphone/megaphone and speak. Or preach. I'd sure like to attend a church sermon given by you.

I just saw "I Love You Man." It made me miss you. Not because I love you (which I do!), but because YOU are the one who should go see all post-Freaks and Geeks movies with me! Who else will help me spot other alumni in the movies?
No one, that's who!

I took Friday and Monday off from work to freelance for some other company making a bunch of videos. We shot all weekend and now I have to edit 23 videos about packing and moving.
It's riveting, I tell ya.

How is the girl on the bus? Have you spoken to her yet?

I saw a very hot circus girl give an incredible performance on a rope and in a crazy sexy outfit to Nine Inch Nail's "Closer." I don't think there was a dry pant in the house. Male or female. It was beyond hot, whatever that is.

So I'm thinking of taking sideshow classes at Coney Island come April and May. Sword swallowing, fire breathing, snake charming - what do you think? Good or terrible idea?
I feel like it will really beef up my resume. Like so:
Skills: Final Cut Pro, After Effects, Photoshop, stilt walking, firebreathing, snake charming.

You'd hire me, right?

Here's a Top 5 of mine right now:
This video
A & I kissing goodnight on St. Patrick's Day (nothing happened. or has happened since. Sigh).
Of Montreal coming
King of Kong (watch this movie. You'll love the people in it.)
The hope of you and I going to Burning Man.

If I inherited a million dollars from a long lost anything...

...you and i would both take a year off and drive our bus to hell and back. we would travel across europe and give all the germans stern, disapproving looks, leap-frog india because i have a weak constitution, island-hop across south east asia telling everyone "we show you good time", do a loop-di-loop around my homeland (in a very solemn and respectful manner), camouflage our bus and hide in a cargo container to madagascar then hope to god the rhinos and hippos and negr Nigerians don't become too alarmed by our striking technicolour dreambus, skip south america because we get all them in north america anyway, and finally, play "this is my mute brother" up until the point where we reach the only place worth living in.

The future is certain. Give us time to work it out.

What do you think of our sweet ride?

I'm hoping this exact one is for sale - we can take out the seats to make room for mattresses, but we need a divider between them because obviously we are soldiers in Jesus' Army with our own Battle Van, and Jesus would not like the two of us sleeping so close together.

I love how there's a phone number on the front passenger door.

You need to come back soon. The (main) reason I'm still hanging out so soon is because she's pretty much the only person who will go to these things with me. But I need to stop because it's starting to really suck and emotionally drain me.
I want to go back to not caring and just dating girls for a couple weeks and being done with them. That was much better than this.
But those girls are not always wanting to attend the ridiculous events I want to go to. Like last night we went to a fashion show that incorporated a lot of circus-ish things like hula hoops and hoop trapezes.
You would have quite enjoyed it. It was quite wonderful for a variety of reasons...

You need to return ASAP and smack some sense into me. And get me out of my wallowing state, because you're one of the few who could pull it off. Others wanted to take me out for drinks and dinner and things like that, but you and I both know when we need to unwallow, we do it in style. And it hopefully involves some sort of trip and/or trouble.
Plus I never see my friends anymore. I'm done fighting to even get them to come out for something fun that is not "dinner and drinks." I'm tired of having so many coupled friends. It's really getting out of hand and I just don't want to deal with it anymore.

I'm glad your cute bus girl does not have a ring. You should ask her if she wants to ride your bus. And by your bus, I mean our Jesus Battle Bus. I would appreciate it if this time you wait until I pass out/fall asleep before having sex, though.
Just throwing that out there.

We don't always need super long posts! We can do stupid fun posts. I'll try to do that. It's hard to post at work because they have pretty strict policies about writing/contributing to outside things and if they see me updating a blog, they may check things out, ya know?
Do you know of any Blogger Apps for the iPhone? If there are, I will get it so I can write on the train and whatnot. I don't know of any though...

The footage of Mike and Doug was absolutely wonderful. It really shows how far up Doug's ass Mike really is. I never realized it until that video pointed it out. It was quite disgusting.

You, myself, and any other funsters (yes, I just used that word. It's for people who like fun) who want to join us? A two week road trip to the desert and back.
It has to be a Volkswagen van or a minibus. Those are the only acceptable forms of travel.
If they don't have air conditioning we'll look into other options...

I'm sorry to hear Of Montreal wasn't good. Maybe they were jet lagged/tired of being on a plane for 26 hours? Or maybe they were trying to rush off stage to go kangaroo riding?

What is interactive television? Is that shows with audience interaction - Price is Right? That's pretty interactive...or maybe something more along the lines of Maury Povich?

Come May I'll have been out of school five years. I feel like I've done nothing. And completely wasted 20% of my life. Looking back on the last 5 years I can't think of anything truly of note that I'm happy about or proud of.
And that's really sad. I know there are things other people are proud of my for, but individually I'm not very impressed with myself right now.

If you email me your address I will send you some ridiculous things. So long as postage is not insanely expensive...


I think what it boils down to is I'm depressed about where my life has gone and the current state of it and I want desperately to do fun things and get out more to events I actually want to go to (not stupid dinner and drinks), but no one is around to do the fun things with me. Except for the one person I get along completely and have a great time with, but wants nothing to do with me on any level other than friendship.

Maya's top five

1. strange overtones by david byrne & brian eno
2. this presentation by david heinemeier hansson
3. flight of the conchords
4. the sartorialist
5. andy warhol

The electric kool-aid acid test

okay, so, this work & school gig is insane. undertaking three classes in addition to four days a week of work was obviously very ambitious on my part.

i was in class last friday, sitting there, starting to stress about assignments and such, when i thought, "no one is actually making me do this", so i've decided to drop a class or two. one of them focused on interactive television, which i have no love for, so yeah, that's my long-winded explanation for why i've not posted in a while...

of Montreal was kinda fun. they played at sydney university and pulled a lot of hipsters (i honestly didn't think sydney had any!) i was in the front row and dancing with some bloke sporting a pair of silver skin tight lycra leggings. even so, i have to admit that it wasn't that great. maybe they were jet-lagged or something, but Kevin Barnes was relatively subdued. they clearly perform their best when they're in new york.

as for my non-existent love life, some promising news. the little blonde-haired girl on my bus hasn't a wedding ring. she still has the constant male companion though, and he did recently bleach his hair snow white like hers (lame!), but still, no wedding ring. i hope they're siblings, but that's just me in denial.

hey, wasn't that footage of doug and mike just too good to be true? though, i have to say that i was both really surprised and a bit disappointed that jabba didn't go nuts with the vicious insults and usual expletives. and while doug was just being doug, for me, the clip highlighted how much of a gutless side-kick mike really is. who would've thought that during the Edna era, he was harbouring secret feelings for doug and craving the closeness she shared with him? i know i kissed the german back in the seventies, but ewww, i'm still washing out my mouth with soapy water.

now to you... please explain to me why you are still kicking it with the girl and trying to go the friendship route SO SOON? i mean, don't you need to distance yourself from her for a wee bit? why make it harder on yourself? and about finding girls that "keep you on your toes intellectually", that isn't so much the hard part as finding the CUTE ones who like quirky adventures and having fun like you. those are the hard ones to come by.

i'm going to try and do burning man with you in a psychedelic bus (like ken kesey and his merry pranksters). my plans are still up in the air, but i think we both NEED this.

I MISS YOU STU.

Let's pretend we're in Antarctica.

Sorry it's taken me so long to post, I've been trying to keep busy. I made a shirt to match my stilt pants on Tuesday!
I am going to be the tallest, most orange-est and blackest thing you have ever seen. I'm quite proud of it.

Can you bubble bubble toil and trouble with a friend's kitchen? Maybe someone is willing to let you borrow the kitchen if you share the wealth?

I am doing somewhat better. I just wish I could figure out what to do. It's weird because I've been blatantly honest about everything, and it sucks that i can't do anything to change it.
Oh well. That's life.

Last weekend I went out stilting with my friend Ari on Saturday, then that night hung out with the girl. Mainly because we are trying to be friends and it had been really weird last time we spoke and it was sort of diplomatically needed.
I also smoked a lot. I've been smoking a lot. I have no idea what I did Sunday but I'm pretty sure I took a 3-hour nap and some point and felt like a complete waste. What about you? And what are you doing this weekend?

I'm doing better I suppose. When did we ever go to The Sheep Station?

It had been a little under two months. But we get along in every single possible way, which is why I don't like how it went. Usually I can find something wrong, but we have so much in common and she's actually smart and I can sit there talking to her for hours and it just makes me want to jump her even more.
Which I think is pretty wonderful. It's not like it was with K where all we ever did was fuck, this is stimulating me every which way and it's pretty fantastic! That hasn't happened since college and to be honest I've forgotten what it felt like.
It is hard to find a girl who can keep me on my toes intellectually. Not to sound conceited, but you know what I mean.
I jumped ship from Serious Eats blogger to go with this one because I couldn't handle two at a time. So..yea. I suppose I got what was coming to me.

Yay for Burning Man! Maybe you can fly to NY first and we'll buy an old school bus and razzle dazzle it up for the drive. I think just throwing paint cans on it should do the trick.
You will make me such a happy boy if we do this!

Why wouldn't you keep going with your Master's? Are you not liking it at all? And what are you getting your Master's in, anyway?

Hahhaha Big Poop. You can ride my Large Vag anyday.

You should put a sitemeter.com counter on here so we can see if anyone else is reading it. Because when people google funny phrases we might come up...

You are sorely missed. I've been spending more time at home because there are so few people who will go out with me the way we go out...

I wish you could meet A. I think you would be quite fond of her. And if you weren't, you could knock some sense into me.

The world won't stop ending. Every day work gets more and more depressing, as I'm sure you're aware. Did you know it is practically 1997 again??
Technically that means I shouldn't even be talking to girls.

Why would a Swedish person ever go to an Ikea overseas? But kudos to you for wanting to perve on them.

Speaking of perving, have you torrented Dollhouse yet? The show isn't so great, but Eliza Dushku makes for some nice eye candy.

I was hula hooping in the park tonight when two girls stopped me on my way out. They said they saw me hooping and said they were in the meetup.com hoop club if I wanted to join I could go on the site and check it out.
I would have, but neither of them was very cute so I decided the meetup.com hoop club was not worth it.

Besides, I'd rather "accidentally" hit someone at the park...

You are sorely missed!

I'll play the Satyr in Cyprus, you the bride being stripped bare, bare

of Montreal's debut tour of Australia is tomorrow, where are you?

Thanks so much for the brownie recipe, but since I'm living at home at the moment, I'll have to wait for an opportune moment to bubble bubble toil and trouble in the family kitchen.

How are things? Are you doing any better? What did you get up to this weekend? I went to IKEA and perved on all the Swedish tourists who, don't ask me why, like to visit IKEA when they travel overseas. Then again, I am guilty for dragging you to a place called The Sheep Station once upon a time.

So, not to jest or anything, but how long were you with the girl? And how intense was it? I.e. did you see her daily, twice a week, etc. Are you stalking her at the moment... And which girl are we talking about? Serious Eats blogger?

About Burning Man, I SO WANT TO GO. August/September right? At this point, I'm not sure if I'm going to keep on going with my Master's here. I'll have a better idea come May/June.

By the way, I still have my horse's card from D&B's. Riding your Large Vag was always better than having than my Big Poop.

"And Wide Vag takes a commanding lead!"

I just found this. I thought you would appreciate it.

I can't believe that gum-chewing trick worked.