New York, New York

You are hysterical. I'm sure there is more than one woman for you - clone of you! We will have to get to work on that when you get back.

I agree, though. The older I get the more dealbreakers I have. And to be honest somehow super passionate about music isn't as high on the list anymore because all the girls who are passionate about it just get their "knowledge" off Pitchfork and I have no desire to deal with having to know a new great band every 3 days.

The new Twilight comes out in Ocyober or November. I want to say November, but I could be wrong. Either way we shall be there!

I super duper hope this Visa of yours gets approved. I miss you and need you back here! We went to Mars 2112 for my birthday, and it just wasn't the same without you. It's a restaurant near Times Square themed like Mars! Complete with people dressed as aliens and a virtual shuttle ride to get to the restaurant area! It was glorious. Wait until you see the phoos, it was out of this world!
I can't web tell you how often I've been making that pun.

Everything is alright here, except for the A front. Still the same as always... She's going back to Illinois for the summer so that will probably help put things in perspective. It's terrible, really. And all my friends really like her, they just don't approve of the situation. You'd probably like her as well, were it not for the crushing of your little brother's feelings.

Have I mentioned I am taking trapeze classes? They're glorious! I'm learning so much AND my body is becoming more flexible and dexterous! Which I can assure you has come in handy on certain occasions!
I'm also learning poi, so I can dance with fire at some point!
Speaking of, do you definitely want to go to Burning Man? If so I will start looking into transportation out there...

And where are you staying when you get back here? Do you have anything lines up or what? You know you are more than welcome to crash at my place if you need to!

Picky

Seriously, my list of dealbreakers is ever growing. It seems I'm finally becoming old and crabby just like I dreamed of as a child... Hirsute women; women with unattractive hands; women who make use of slang and/or expletives (unless they're being ironic); anyone who defines themselves by the clothes they wear or the people they know or the false gods they love; anyone with a casual interest in music rather than an unnatural craving for it... Freakishly brainy. Not at all smart. Lazy or unambitious. Disinterested in horses. Anyone who won't let me name my first born son, Ernest. My second born son, Atticus. My third born son, Francis. And all my daughters, equally, Zooey. I can go on...smokers, alcoholics, religious zealots, non-voters, non-tippers, the uncultured, the unadventurous, the unchallenged, the xenophobic, the neo-Nazis, the neo-Eighties, the bad spellers, the double-standarderers, those with atrocious penmanship, the left-handed, the tax evaders, the ones who configure their toilet rolls to go under as opposed to over, the team anistons, the team jolies, the ones who can't distinguish between "their", "they're", and "there"... I could go on. It seems there is really only one woman for me. Me.

Don't Let Facebook Steal Your Soul

You, me and Dakota Fanning makes three. I'm down for a light-headed cinema experience. When is the movie coming out, because if my visa application is approved, it looks like I'm all set to return on July 6, 2009. Mark it in your diary old friend. Like Julian Casablacas says, It's Summer in the Citay.

Reality!

And I'm not Bonnie Tyler, and I'm not Toni Braxton
And this song is not gonna save your relationship, oh no... shit!
And this sentimental movie marathon has taught us one thing
It's the opposite of true love is as follows: Reality!

We're undeveloped, we're ignorant, we're stupid, but we're happy

I have to say, I really enjoyed your Paula Abdul post so don't take my lack of posting as a slight in any way. School is coming to an end soon, so you can imagine the sleepless nights I'm suffering at the moment... But, amidst the Sturm und Drang, it's been super nice to get your old-fashioned telegram (not to mention the warning notes about the abnormally large spiders awaiting me in my sock drawer). THANK YOU.

So I was thinking about your situation, you know, spending more time with A now than when you were together. In my prudish opinion, contemporary New York relationships are lacking in romance. All this getting-to-know-about-your-penchant-for-circus-skills stuff should really happened before the sex. Can you imagine the smoldering sexual tension that would have occurred if you hadn't have had sex yet? It seems to me that you guys would make a really raunchy couple but the scenes are all out of whack. Look, I'm a strong proponent of non-linearity, but the pain you're enduring (inflicting on yourself) at the moment boggles the mind. But I'll stop there because I've done dumber things. All I can offer you is a token for a big bear hug when I return. (This will include a bonus slap in the face, buster.)

Stay indoors and don't go near the spiders!!

These things are terrifying

straight up now tell me are you gonna love me forever

While I would love to tell you I am no longer spending time with A, that is not the case. In fact, I think we are now spending even MORE time together.
I know. I'm an idiot. You don't understand. We've become incredibly close friends and we have so many of the same interests we just wind up spending time together.

There was a bit of a blow-up a few weeks ago and we didn't talk for a week. It was AWFUL. And apparently we both hated it, but I'm the only one willing to acknowledge that it definitely means we should be more than friends. And a week after the blow-up we had a huge talk about everything, and I flat out told her how crazy I am about her. And then she didn't talk for a while.
I just don't know what to do. It's terrible. I've tried going out with other girls, and none even come close to this one. She's incredibly funny, a blast to be around, we love going to the same sorts of events, and just click in every possible way. Oh and she's completely drop-dead gorgeous. The first time I saw her I pretty much stopped in my tracks.
But for some reason she doesn't want to date me. She told me why, and I'm not sure I accept it as a reasonable excuse, but I will email it to you so you will know.

ANYWAY. Aside from that. Did you ENTER the sheep shearing contest, or just watch? Because I really think you could become quite good at that if you trained for it. I'm not sure what sort of training is involved, but if you want I'll be your coach. I'll be the Mick to your Rocky. We just need to find you an Adrienne.

Do you know where you will stay for the summer? Do you want me to keep an ear out in case I hear of anything?

I am so desperately excited for you to come back. No one can entertain me the way you can entertain me. And that's a fact. And I do want you to meet A, just so you can see what all the fuss is about. I know I'm being a complete idiot by not cutting all ties, but we've become too close of friends for me to do that. And it sucks. Either way it sucks.

ANYWAY. Let's move on to happier things. I'm becoming quite good at hula hooping, so when you get back I will have to teach you. We can go to the park and use it to lure girls over to us. "Oh my god I'm so sorry my wayward hula hoop 'accidentally' hit you!"
Yea. I have no problem being that guy. And I don't think you'd have a problem being that girl.

Have you seen Adventureland yet? I went Sunday night, it was pretty entertaining. I really loved the soundtrack the most, though. Who knew the girl from Twilight could play such a whore?!
Speaking of Twilight, Dakota Fanning is in the next movie. You & me & a bottle of wine or three for that, yes?

Did I tell you I am taking an aerial acrobatics class? It's glorious! I'm in the beginner class, but other advanced classes are going on in the room at the same time. Do you know how distracting it is to be in a room full of 25 people, only 2 of which are guys, and all the girls are INCREDIBLY flexible and bending their bodies in ways I did not know were possible both in midair and on the ground?
Because it is.

Please don't ever mention anything about shaving hair again. I think there are some things that we should keep private, and I'm pretty sure that is one of them...

Not much else is going on here. I went to a party Friday night with a girl, but I don't really feel anything between us so I think I'm going to end it. Maya I don't even want to have random casual sex anymore. That's how bad things are for me.

I can't wait for you to come back. We need to think of good adventures for as soon as you get off the plane. Do we want to commandeer another bus??

You're missed!!